Woes of a Dentist's Daughter

Do you remember the day you got your braces off? That glorious, glorious day. You could hear the birds singing and the sun came out from behind the clouds as you walked into school after that oh-so-special ortho appointment. Your friends ran up to you, fawning over the beauty of your new, straight, perfect smile. People who didn't even know you commented on your lovely white teeth. You went home and uploaded the classic "I just got my braces off" selfie as your profile pic. You were untouchable and the world was a happier place. (If you never had to have braces, well I don't like you anymore, you lucky duck.)

As a dentist's daughter, I personally had this experience twice. Yep, I had braces for a total of 5 terrible years ending just in time to debut my new smile for eighth grade graduation.

               A classic pic from eighth grade. Sorry guys. I know its bad.

Fast forward 5 years... I'm sitting in a restaurant for dinner with my family when my dad brings up that the orthodontist called him. About me. I had had an appointment to get a new retainer a few weeks ago, and the orthodontist had concluded that "some adjustments had to be made to my teeth." Gulp. My dad indicated that I would probably have to had braces put back on for a few months.

So, naturally, I burst into tears at the dinner table. For those of you who don't know me very well, I am a retainer Nazi. Not kidding. One time at college I forgot to wear my retainer and woke up in the middle of the night having a nightmare that my teeth had moved. This is serious stuff. SO HOW DID MY TEETH MOVE?????

Today's the dreaded ortho appointment. I mean hopefully they can fix this thing with some kind of magical retainer or something. Just don't fill my mouth with metal. I refuse to revert back to my adolescent awkward stage. It was traumatic. No one needs that again. So, if you are reading this, say a quick prayer (or a few hundred decades of the rosary) or if you aren't religious, do a rain dance or something, that the orthodontist can fix my horrible, crooked teeth (sarcasm, I can't even see anything wrong with them) WITHOUT BRACES. Because no one wants to look like this again: